Two Arabs boarded a flight out of New York. One sat in the window seat and the other sat in the middle. Just before take off, An American
got on and took the aisle seat.
After takeoff, The American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer."
"No problem," said the American, "I'll get it for you."
While he was gone, One of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Arab said,
"that looks good, I think I'll have one too."
Again, the American obligingly went to get it and, while he was gone, the other Arab picked up the other shoe and spat in it. When the
American returned to his seat, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
He looked at the two Arabs and asked, "why does it have to be this way? How long must this go on, this...
A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew s refrigerator.
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioned in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?"
Not one hand went up... so she took them home and ate them.
Two lessons here:
1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
3 adult ladies have a lunch get together. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and one has been married for 5+ years. They were chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. They agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went.
The engaged girl: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.
Then the married one had to share her story:
A gay guy falls in love with a proctologist. He goes to the proctologist's office and says that he has an obstruction.
So the proctologist sticks his hand up the guy's ass but can't find anything. However, he notices that the man has an erection, so the proctologist cuts short the examination and orders the gay guy out of his office.
The next day, the gay guy calls the proctologist and claims he has another obstruction. The proctologist doesn't believe him but the guy claims he is in great pain, so the doctor relents. When the guy arrives, the doctor sticks his hand up the guy's ass again but this time he finds something.
"Good God!" the doctor exclaims, "No wonder you're in pain. There are two dozen roses shoved up your ass."
In some cases, one drilling operation contaminated the water of multiple wells, with water issues resulting from methane gas contamination, wastewater spills, and wells that simply went dry or undrinkable. The move to release the contamination information comes after years of the AP and other news outlets filing lawsuits and Freedom of Information Act requests from the DEP on water issues related to oil and gas drilling and fracking.